It beats for you

It has been six months since I've graduated. I have been jobless ever since. While I am more fortunate than many ways than most other people in similar situations, the mental toll that feeling completely worthless is having on me will be the basis for this blog. I've dealt with a lot of problems in my life before, but never have I been in a situation as frustrating as I am at this moment.

It is never fun to try and wake up when you have nothing to look forward to that day. All I can really do is look on job sites that post the same jobs day after day. I've been rejected by all the ones that I am qualified for, so the entire process has become an exercise in failure. After this daily exercise in futility, my goal becomes to find something to take my mind off the crushing frustration that I feel every day. I have no friends here and I'm not the type of person to voluntarily enter situations that will be uncomfortable. I can spend time my family, but as you will find out its best if this interaction is kept in very small doses.

All this leaves me alone with my mind. I have fought self-doubt and mental instability my entire life. I thought I had cured it pretty well when I moved to Georgia, but now that I really have nothing to look forward to, all the insecurities that had controlled me for so long are slowly reclaiming their territory. I am hoping the process of writing will help delay their onset, but really it won't unless I find something that I feel gives me worth again very soon.

This is my journey.

"It beats for you" - My Morning Jacket
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF9FuucihaE